Semester Summary
Looking back at the semester as a whole I think it started out pretty negatively, but ended up positive. I started the year putting a lot of pressure on myself to make something good, and I was comparing myself to my class mates a lot. I definitely had thoughts that I didn't fit in or belong. This might be because in some ways I thought that other people were ahead of me, and that I was already lagging behind before the course had really begun. I looked at other student's online presence and they were already selling their art or had a big following, whereas I didn't have either of those. As the course progressed I started concentrating on just focusing on myself and my personal growth. However I think my reaction at the beginning was normal because comparison is all around us in this age of social media, so it is an easy trap to fall into in every day life. I also need to bare in mind that before Uni I was doing an art foundation course, but before that I was in music education, and thought that was the career path I wanted to follow. Whereas other people on my course have been set on doing art longer than I have, so of course they've made more progress.
I've also always had quite bad self esteem issues, and have just come out of being in counseling throughout college. I'm definitely a lot better than I used to be, but my confidence is still growing. Anything that is a new experience, or being around new people, is ace for my confidence to be knocked. I'm proud that I managed to pick myself back up, and not let the self doubt consume me and stop me from doing projects. Mental health is always a work in progress, so I need to keep reminding myself not to be so hard on myself.
Reflection definitely serves as good reminder of these things, so I want to remember to do that more throughout the upcoming semesters. I often think of reflection and analysis of my own work as a Uni box ticking exercise, and always dread doing it because it isn't as fun or interesting as actually creating art. But I think I am also a bit scared of reflection because I have to think about the emotions I had at the time of creating an art piece, and sometimes they are not always positive. I have a habit of trying to separate my art with myself because I think it would be easier to make a profession out of it this way. But my feelings often really effect my art, so it's good to reflect on the positives and negatives of a piece, because sometimes it ends up in me realizing that I didn't create something I like that day because I wasn't feeling great, and not because I'm not talented.
The fact that I started out the semester in quite a negative headspace did effect my work. I begun by not experimenting or taking as many risks as I could have, because I just wanted to make good work, and the easy way of doing this is by doing what I'm comfortable in. Towards the end of the semester I became more relaxed and was in a better headspace in general, so I took more risks and worked harder on projects in general. This has resulted in me producing what I think is actually better work, and I've definitely learnt a lot more in the last few projects. Through being more mindful and doing more reflection I hope to continue this positive and less pressurized attitude.
I did keep working in and exploring a variety of mediums (including but not limited to charcoal, watercolour, fine liner, lino printing, digital) throughout the semester, which has been beneficial. Especially in the last project because it allowed me to narrow down exactly what medium I wanted the final projects to be in, and what would work best. However I want to keep experimenting, as I find it easy to stick with one medium after I make a final outcome that I am very pleased with in that medium. I also get a lot of joy and passion out of working in a variety of mediums and doing different processes, I want to remember that in the next semester as passion allows me to create my best work.
Something else I could improve upon in the next semester is my time management. I work a part time job alongside Uni, and I definitely struggled with this in the first semester. This is partly because I was supervising a lot of shifts at work, and my job includes dealing with a lot of money and government forms for ID so it can be quite stressful at times. I have made it less stressful by dropping my hours and asking for less responsibility at work, and this definitely had a direct improvement on my uni work. Hopefully this will continue in a positive way for the next semester. If I have a less stressful day at work I'm more likely to come home and do project work in the evening rather than being too tired or stressed.
I've also always had quite bad self esteem issues, and have just come out of being in counseling throughout college. I'm definitely a lot better than I used to be, but my confidence is still growing. Anything that is a new experience, or being around new people, is ace for my confidence to be knocked. I'm proud that I managed to pick myself back up, and not let the self doubt consume me and stop me from doing projects. Mental health is always a work in progress, so I need to keep reminding myself not to be so hard on myself.
Reflection definitely serves as good reminder of these things, so I want to remember to do that more throughout the upcoming semesters. I often think of reflection and analysis of my own work as a Uni box ticking exercise, and always dread doing it because it isn't as fun or interesting as actually creating art. But I think I am also a bit scared of reflection because I have to think about the emotions I had at the time of creating an art piece, and sometimes they are not always positive. I have a habit of trying to separate my art with myself because I think it would be easier to make a profession out of it this way. But my feelings often really effect my art, so it's good to reflect on the positives and negatives of a piece, because sometimes it ends up in me realizing that I didn't create something I like that day because I wasn't feeling great, and not because I'm not talented.
The fact that I started out the semester in quite a negative headspace did effect my work. I begun by not experimenting or taking as many risks as I could have, because I just wanted to make good work, and the easy way of doing this is by doing what I'm comfortable in. Towards the end of the semester I became more relaxed and was in a better headspace in general, so I took more risks and worked harder on projects in general. This has resulted in me producing what I think is actually better work, and I've definitely learnt a lot more in the last few projects. Through being more mindful and doing more reflection I hope to continue this positive and less pressurized attitude.
I did keep working in and exploring a variety of mediums (including but not limited to charcoal, watercolour, fine liner, lino printing, digital) throughout the semester, which has been beneficial. Especially in the last project because it allowed me to narrow down exactly what medium I wanted the final projects to be in, and what would work best. However I want to keep experimenting, as I find it easy to stick with one medium after I make a final outcome that I am very pleased with in that medium. I also get a lot of joy and passion out of working in a variety of mediums and doing different processes, I want to remember that in the next semester as passion allows me to create my best work.
Something else I could improve upon in the next semester is my time management. I work a part time job alongside Uni, and I definitely struggled with this in the first semester. This is partly because I was supervising a lot of shifts at work, and my job includes dealing with a lot of money and government forms for ID so it can be quite stressful at times. I have made it less stressful by dropping my hours and asking for less responsibility at work, and this definitely had a direct improvement on my uni work. Hopefully this will continue in a positive way for the next semester. If I have a less stressful day at work I'm more likely to come home and do project work in the evening rather than being too tired or stressed.
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